Newsletter for A Community of Learners
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October 3, 2008
What follows is an email letter I received on Friday morning, September 26th, and it is reprinted with the author’s consent. Mike
We’re a community of learners…except at 8:07 a.m.
This is a rant. There, you’ve been warned. Just dropped off my middle schooler in the drop-off lane. Usually we’re earlier, but today both kids were super lollygaggers. We’d gotten up on time. I’d made frequent references to the clocks in every room (which, unbeknownst to the kids, are all set 7 minutes ahead). I’d chanted my morning mantra, “You’re gonna be late…you’re gonna be late…you’re gonna be late.” Still, inertia was winning. O.K. I thought, it’s gonna be “late lesson day.” It’s gonna get ugly. To my middle schooler, there are few things more totally embarrassing than having to get a late slip AND come into class late….except perhaps I’M more totally embarrassing.
Anyway, I know he’s headed for this fate, and I know I have to let him meet it. “It will be a good lesson,” I tell myself to strengthen my resolve. As we move onto Sheffield Ave., we can feel the tension mount. Cars are edging closer to the red lights at MacArthur, parents are calculating whether the bus will pull in or move through the intersection, and children are scrambling to get their backpacks in hand. We turn the corner, see the long line, and I brace myself; its gonna be a long, long, whiney wait until it’s our turn to unload…so many other families got there on time. We get in line.
Then…it begins. A few cars enter Sheffield, see the line and start strategizing. Can they get their kid there faster? They jump the line. Then a few cars that were waiting in front of us jump the line. Now there is a traffic jam around both driveways. The cars in front of the school can’t get out, the teachers and staff can’t get in, the cars that have made the U turn already can’t get back to MacArthur, and we just sit and watch it all unfold. I cringe at a few near misses as cars jockey for position. My middle schooler sees it all, and he begins. “Look Mom, there’s a spot up there.” “How come those parents do it for their kids?” “I’m gonna be even laaaaaaater…..” “Its not faaaaaaair…...”
My usual litany of responses (“life won’t always be fair,” “just because everyone else is doing it….,” “two wrongs don’t make a right,” “no cuts!”) don’t feel appropriate because I don’t want to criticize our friends. The kids just played soccer together to learn how to be better team players and respect the ref’s call. (Wouldn’t that be Arturo or Roger at drop off?) Our families just attended a party together to build community. (We are a community of learners?) We parents sat through a parenting class to strengthen our parenting skills. (It’s not what you say but what you do?) Besides, I’ve been known to try a few creative maneuvers myself. I don’t want to be the parent who can’t get my kids to school on time. I’ve taken cuts in my heart many times.
So, I have no good responses to my child’s laments. I vow I will by the time the kids get home. But as I drive off, I’m left wondering how drop off set up his day? How is he going to feel when he gets to class and finds out that the kids who got to take cuts didn’t have to get a tardy slip? Will that affect how he works on a team today at school? Will he be more aggressive to get what’s “his”? And what will the kids who got to take cuts bring to the school day?
I’m thinking he’ll stay stuck with some version of “Its not faiiiiiiiiiiiirrr….” And I’m thinking that all I really wanted him to learn this morning was this: If you don’t get ready on time…you’ll have to get a late slip.
A Middle School Parent
From Mike:
As we have grown as a school, drop off has gotten more and more precarious—as eloquently expressed above. Therefore there are a few changes we have begun to make this week and will continue:
- We will extend the drop-off zone past the driveway and all along the white curb. Please pull up as far as you can along the white curb; our goal is to not leave any gaps and thus stop the tendency for cars to move ahead and dive in.
- To make this extended zone clear to drivers, we will use orange cones to clearly mark off the drop-off area.
- The front parking lot will close at 8:00 a.m. and re-open just after 8:30 a.m.
- We will have two adults helping Arturo with ushering cars along and helping students out of cars.
I want to thank you in advance for your cooperation—just as you cooperate in arriving slightly after your child’s pick-up time after school. These changes will make the start of school easier on everyone.
