Newsletter for RDS: Firsts
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September 5, 2008
Last Wednesday was the first day of the 2008-2009 school year at RDS, and as such is always one of my favorite times of the year. The air is filled with a mixture of nervous anticipation, joy, laughter, sadness, curiosity, and silliness. The day is pregnant with possibilities.
Above all else, it is a day of firsts. It is the first meeting with a new teacher and the accompanying wonder/worry about how they will get along. It is the first encounter with the greater expectations from this next grade and the questions about how their performance will measure. It is the first reunions with classmates not seen since June and the wonder/worry if they will stay friends or drift.
It is no wonder that our children remember so well these first days of school and why the night before is often restless and sleepless—there is much at stake. As we get older, however, we have fewer and fewer firsts in our lives. For some this is sad; for others it is a huge relief. Regardless, it does lead us to sometimes living vicariously through our children’s many firsts, especially the first few days of school. More than ever we want them to tell us all about these days: who they ate lunch with, if they like the teacher, if they stayed friends with X, could they do the work. Our questions are endless and they are exhausted.
So I urge you as the first seven days of school come to a close to take several deep breaths. Spend some unstructured time with your children over the weekend and let these firsts unpack in a natural way—while on a walk together, while setting the dinner table, while playing ball in the park. And know, that at least in this case, it is okay to live vicariously through our children. That is, hearing all their firsts will trigger similar memories in you, and these images and stories are ones that your children will want to hear, as long as you take your time. Your first impression of your third grade teacher. The friend you made on the first day of seventh grade. Suddenly, if handled well, you will be fascinating to your child.
Savor the time together this weekend because seven days from now they will be deep into the flow of school, friends, and activities, as they should be.
Have a great weekend.
Mike
