Newsletter for Head for the Day: Parker Halaburda
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Head for the Day: Parker Halaburda
At this year’s annual Parents’ Association auction we had a raffle for “Head for the Day,” with the winner getting to spend the greater portion of the day working with me to run the School. It’s probably my favorite day of the year, and this year was no exception.
The winning raffle ticket belonged to fourth grader Parker Halaburda, so this past Wednesday we worked side by side leading the School through its paces. We visited classrooms, met with Department Heads, led the All-School Assembly, and went to one of Parker’s favorite restaurants for lunch—The Silver Spoon.
At one point in the morning we stopped by Diane Johnson’s office to briefly join the high school marketing meeting that was going on with Diane and a couple of RDS trustees. Fresh from a trip to LA to visit other independent high schools, Diane was loaded with brochures and other materials she was eager to try out on us. Parker was incredibly on point in his feedback: “I like this one best because it shows more depth and seems more solid. It also reflects the Earth and I think would appeal to more kinds of people—it shows there is a place for everybody. And it feels better than the rest of them.” We all did a double take. That is, we all agreed with Parker, only he was much more articulate than the rest of us. At this point I momentarily considered hiring him as a consultant! But actually, it just confirmed our plans to make sure students are involved in the brainstorming and marketing of the high school.
Later on I got Parker to expand some on his ideas for the high school. High on his list were: lots of math and science; school open early and closing late; a range of sports—football, baseball, soccer, lacrosse, and skateboard ramps; and a variety of classes, from cooking to survival. But what Parker kept coming back to was the athletic program.
As I probed, I got a sense of his wisdom imbued with a practical nature. Sadly, teasing is a reality in children’s lives. Sure, at RDS we do as much as we can to prevent and minimize it, but still it rears its ugly head at different times, most notably on the playground, in both subtle and blatant forms. Fortunately we easily recognize the blatant teasing and are quick to put an end to it, but when it’s subtle, it is more elusive. One of the many reasons—besides outright joy—that Parker thinks athletics are so important is because a good sports program will both cut down on teasing and teach kids how to put an end to it themselves.
Here is his thinking. Athletics provide a space where competitiveness and assertiveness have healthy outlets, which for sure relieve the stress that can sometimes prompt teasing. They also give kids a place to release their energy built up from sitting in class and working hard. Teams are also a place where you learn to care for and stand up for others because you are teammates and because you share the same goals. This skill of standing up for others is also what is exactly needed on the playground when a friend or classmate is getting teased.
Parker took this even further when he commented that it’s not just the sports but how we do the sports that really matters. At this point he asked me if I had heard of the The Positive Coaching Alliance, but before I could answer he told me about all the good work they do, essentially boiling it down to: teams that promote character in individual athletes also win more games. This is what is called Double-Goal Coaching.
If Parker is a testament to how we are doing with our students at RDS, I would say we are making good progress. He sees the reality of teasing, is courageous in addressing it, and is digging deeper for strategies and ideas that will help all his fellow students. And in his unique fourth-grade way, he sees this kind of athletic program as essential to our high school. Thinking back to last week’s Friday Folder, I would call this building resilience.
Thanks Parker, I learned a lot.
Have a great weekend.
Mike
